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This blog's content might be triggering for some people, as it is related to eating and/or personality disorders. If you think this might be a wrong place for you, please, use your better judgment and leave.

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July 11, 2011

Learn to fly and free yourself, darling

The beauty of the Beast was in his soul. Heart doesn't always have to match the looks. The ugliest people often have the most beautiful hearts. That gives me hope that at least my inside is pretty. But as much as I wish to believe that I might have a beautiful soul, I know it isn't true. Someone would have noticed already, wouldn't they?

I am just a bird in a cage. I want to be free and show the world all I can do. The freedom is so close yet so far. And even though the cage door is open, I forgot to fly a long time ago. Many times I tried to escape but my feathers got broken along the way. Now I prefer not to try, to save myself from being hurt. It is not working.

I am hurt. I cannot figure out who I am, what to do, where to go and most importantly, I cannot figure out why is all of this happening. The world doesn't stop, people don't notice anything, but my life doesn't move anywhere. I dream of being happy and despair all by myself.

They say a smile is a curve that sets everything straight. But they don't say what happens if the smile isn't real. I guess that kind of smile just makes everything worse. It breaks the heart and leaves a scar.
Love


~ Meg

3 comments:

  1. You are beautiful. Inside and out. No one has noticed because they don't deserve to see how beautiful you really are. They are broken and ugly. Maybe not on the outside, but they are on the inside. You will figure out how to fly and be free. You just aren't ready yet. You have your whole life ahead of you to learn to fly. Don't try to rush it. If you aren't happy you don't need to pretend to be. Don't fake a smile. Smile only when you mean it. You're beautiful with or without a smile. Stay strong. :)

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  2. This broke my heart a million more times today. I agree with kes... Meg, you are one of the prettiest girls i know. And even if we don't know each other in actual life, you've given me one thing other people around me can't. friendship. And it's enough for me to realize the beauty of your soul.
    If you are too afraid to fly, and too afraid to get hurt, it's okay. I mean, who doesn't?

    I love you, Meg. Hold on.
    p.s. I understand.

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  3. Honestly, it's ok not to be ok. Sometimes it's alright to lock yourself in a cupboard and weep for 100 million different reasons. I do it all the time.

    People will always be hurt and confused if you're not happy. They take it as an insult and it isn't fair, but a fake smile can be what is needed to bridge the gap while you figure it out in your brain.

    xxx

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~ You brigthen my day. Thank you for doing that. Stay lovely. ~