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December 13, 2010

Flashback

I am 8 years old. I am hugging my father and refuse to go when my mother pulls me away from him. I am holding him as tightly as I can, I scream, I cry. I love my mother, I love my father. I want us to be a happy family we have never been. They both scream at each other.

My mother is angry and wants to call the police. My father pushes me away from him as softly as he can, whispering that everything will be okay. He wants me to stay but I can't. I can see the tears filling his eyes. He cannot cry. He has to be strong for me. My mother cries. Tears of anger are coming down her cheeks.

"Mama, you can stay here with us. It can be just the three of us again," I say. I don't want to go anywhere. This is my home. I feel safe in this place. I grew up here.

Mama, don't take me away from here, I want to stay. You are hurting me, now stop. I was happy until you ruined this moment. Mama and daddy, why are you doing this to me? Why do you want to hurt me so much? What have I done to you? Is it my fault? I've never wanted this to happen. I am so sorry. I will be a good girl from now on. I will do everything you will tell me to do. I did not want to cause you pain. I did not want you to be hurting because of me. I did not want to ruin your lives. I am sorry. Daddy, don't you love me anymore? Now why do you let me go?

Mother pulls me to the cold street and I, too weak to fight any longer, give up.


~ Meg

8 comments:

  1. That's so terrible. I don't think you'd ever forget that. You were too young to know it wasn't your fault. But I'm sure it wouldn't have made much of a difference. Be there for the little boy. He's gonna need it. Feel better <3

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  2. thank you for opening up like this. and im sorry you had to go through all that emotion at a young age, and feel it again tonight. i hope you feel a bit better when you read this, and all my love to you.

    <3

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  3. This was so sad :( It brought back a lot of emotions that I haven't felt for years, and I know exactly how you and the little boy felt. We love you. <3 stay beautiful.x

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  4. Im so sorry, beautiful girl. I couldn't imagine. but in the end it will make you stronger and wiser. I'm sorry it brought back sick memories like this. I really hope you know now that none of that is your fault. you don't deserve this pain. No one does, especially at 8 years old.

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  5. i can only imagine.
    i'm sorry you had to go through that

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  6. I´m so sorry sweetie. Flashwaks are horrible, I used to get them all the time.
    I hope you feel better soon
    Much love

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  7. I'm sorry about your past and the pain you still feel. I hope all goes well for you
    Pce, Nate

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